"We're On A Highway To Hell..."

Last night, while carousing the French Quarter, the boys and I stumbled upon a Christmas tree out on the curb.

Chance and the Madd Dogg sprung into action and dragged it to the end of the block. We found a good spot and set it up on the corner of Royal St. and Gov. Nicholls.

The tree was the kind with that fake snow, so there was a frosty trail halfway down the street.

As we stood back and admired our handiwork, the most random of people began congregating around the tree to admire its beauty.

But one man, Brent, a self-described "sheet-rocking motherfucker" from Texas, was certainly the dodgiest.

"I'm from hell," he said, after Chance struck up a conversation with him. "And I love AC/DC."

So we sang all the AC/DC we knew.

The Madd Dogg sang "Highway to Hell." I sang "Back in Black." Brent sang about his big balls.

"I used to be in Heaven," Brent said after a short silence. "I had all the best women, the best Christmases..."

"The best liquor?" Chance suggested.

"The best liquor," Brent said, nodding his head and licking his lips. "But now I'm 43, I'm all grown up, and I'm in hell!" he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

I reached to the ground and picked up a Mardi Gras bead with a gold medallion that said Corona Extra.

"This will be our Christmas tree this year," I said, handing Brent the green bead. "Hang it up on our tree."

After a few failed attempts, Brent managed to sling it over a branch close to the top.

"It's beautiful," I said.

"Does anyone have a hatchet?" Brent asked. "I'm gonna cut this sucker down."